What is best?
We have all heard the term, "One size fits all"; however, there is nothing further from the truth when it comes to being a Mom of adult children, am I right?
I am a Mom of 3 amazing children, who are all stepping, falling and flying into their own adulthood. I am sure you have heard the term of "endearment" the children use when they are not particularly fond about the struggles they are facing. Does the term "adulting" sound familiar to you? It can be quite the experience, not only for them, but also for you Mom. Can't it?
Being a Mom is hard work. Do you recall how hard you thought it was hard when they were little? Are you familiar with the social media posts that talk about the difficulties young Mom's face everyday. The stress, the joy and the laughter, the times that we too can all remember well. The support that has grown for young Mom's who are catapulted into the parenting role with all the comparison, busy lives, the look of having it altogether, and the times when it all seems to be falling apart. When we see others that look like, sound like and/or feel like they feel it is good to know that they aren't alone and everyone is working to normalize the emotions, the trials and tribulations. Sharing to support one another, to help each other out and to comfort other Moms, and reassure each other that they are going to be okay. Social media is one way to know that you are "normal" and what you may be going through as a Mom is normal, and that it is hard work, with lots of pain, loneliness, laughter and stressful times.
What about us, the Mom of the Mom's? How do we support, nurture and at the same time respect their boundaries and our own boundaries? How do we support each other? How do we manage all the ups and downs of our adult children? I have noticed that there is NOT a lot of support, information and experiences shared about being a Mom of a Mom. Hmmmmmm. Interesting. I know there is a lot of groups for women experiencing midlife trials and tribulations in terms of physicality and hormonal changes; however, not a lot about being a Mom of adult children.
When I talk with, and empower women through my coaching I do find that there is a deep relationship that women want to experience with themselves, because they are at a point where they are no longer being pulled to support their children in the same ways as when their children were growing up.
Let's begin having conversations about being a Mom of adult children. what are your biggest struggles, worries and fears about the new role you are experiencing, Mom of adult children? Is it going well, how do you know? Is it difficult to figure out how to support without interfering? Are you feeling left out of the picture and "cut-off" as the Mom? How do the dynamics change or do they change if you become a grandparent? How has your relationship changed? Do you like the changes or do you wish things were different? Do you know the parenting style you lean into naturally and understand how that style can impact your relationship? Did you even know there were parenting styles? What is your commitment, requirement as a Mom to support them emotionally, financially, in the rearing of their family, in their relationships with significant others? What is the right thing to do based on your situation? Are these questions sounding familiar? What other questions and concerns arise for you as a Mom of adult children?
What is it like for you? If you could change one thing about being a Mom of adult children, what would it be?
Please share your thoughts and let's start the conversation.
Much love,
Denise